Marriage: So Far Yet So Close

I didn't think I would become someone who started counting down—but I'm counting down: LESS THAN THREE MONTHS BEFORE I MARRY RUSSELL!

Some days it seems too far away and other days it seems so so close. As more planning gets done, I think the reality sinks in. Also, Russell and I are starting pre-marital counseling and now it really feels like it's real life. This engagement period is such a weird but interesting time because every moment feels like the end and beginning of something. I keep reminding myself that every moment should be treasured and it's all so bittersweet.

Days When Marriage Seems Too Far Away:

• About every night when Russell drives me home and walks me to my door and I hug him and hate the thought of having to stop hugging him.
• When I remember I have a curfew.
• When one of my brothers comes into my room and takes my laptop and/or kindle and/or other gender-neutral items without telling me (I have a problem with sharing; a.k.a. good luck Russell because even when we're married I don't think I will ever like sharing). 
• When mom rearranges all my shoes and I can't find my boots.
• When I leave unclaimed food out on the counter or in the fridge to save for later but when I check back for it...it's gone. The consequences of having two brothers who are constantly hungry is that I always have to keep playing the whodunnit game.
• When I have to carry something into the garage and whatever I'm carrying is too heavy and all I think about is If Russell were here, I could make him carry this.
• When I can't reach the nice dishes on the high shelf in the kitchen.

Days When Marriage Seems Too Close:

• When Mom starts talking about how I need to learn how to cook.
• When I try to cook and I realize I hate it.
• A couple of days ago, Dad said I need to do my own taxes this year.
• Sometime last year, I learned that you have to pay for electricity. Also, the thought of bills.
• On weekday mornings when Mom has breakfast ready for me and a packed lunch.
• When my brothers are wrestling and being goofy and funny and I think about how when we all start moving out, we'll never be this close anymore and everything will change.
• Every time Mom starts getting teary-eyed when I talk about the wedding.

Eating Poetry by Mark Strand

Ink runs from the corners of my mouth.
There is no happiness like mine.
I have been eating poetry.

The librarian does not believe what she sees.
Her eyes are sad
and she walks with her hands in her dress.

The poems are gone.
The light is dim.
The dogs are on the basement stairs and coming up.

Their eyeballs roll,
their blond legs burn like brush.
The poor librarian begins to stamp her feet and weep.

She does not understand.
When I get on my knees and lick her hand,
she screams.

I am a new man.
I snarl at her and bark.
I romp with joy in the bookish dark.

Flu Season

Last week, the flu bug hit me hard and I spent four days sleeping. I know I got it at work. I would hear the coughs around me and I would frantically message Russell on the computer telling him it was only a matter of time before it got to me. With two to three coworkers a day calling in sick at my work, it was bound to happen.

Russell, like the keeper that he is, spent his time hanging around my house making me tea, buying me soup, getting cookies, etc. We've also watched a couple of movies on the couch while I struggled to beat the flu sleepiness. While I normally don't like movies, a part of me enjoys watching Russell shamelessly laugh at animated movies.

Here's a clip from The Lorax that has us giggling every time we watch it:

Wedding Planning

I normally don't talk/write much about the details of wedding planning since it hasn't been that big of a deal (and okay, I don't like thinking about it). Russell and I make lists of things that need to get done, things we need to buy, people we need to call, etc. And we do them. There's not much drama attached to them...which surprised me because that's not what wedding planning appears to be when I watch bits and pieces of wedding planning on TV. But then again, our wedding is still 3.5 months away so the stress and drama may only be simmering.

I decided to write about this because Russell took the picture above on my iPhone then uploaded it on my Instagram with the caption "Hard at work! #wedding planning". Haha, the only reason I have that look on my face is because I am starting to get the flu and I am not having fun battling a sore throat.

Oroville

Over the New Year's holiday, Russell and I were able to road trip up to Oroville and get a few more wedding chores done. 

While we were there, we saw lots of sheep on Grandpa's ranch:

There were lots of baby sheep around!

More pics:

Reno

December was a busy but wonderful month. It went by so fast! I love Christmastime and all the things that come with it. I went on a couple of road trips, one of which was to Reno to meet more of the Henry-side extended family members.

Every year, the Henrys hold a Christmas party the weekend before Christmas. On the Saturday before Christmas, they all come together and play boardgames, participate in white elephant, eat, etc. And that Saturday is Russell's favorite day of the year. So I was lucky enough to finally experience it for the first time.

Here are some pictures from that weekend:

2012 in Review

Every year, I do a similar post on things that have happened in the past year. I love reflection time, and this year there's even more to process! Let's get down to it.

This year I...

• Graduated from California State University, Fullerton with a degree in English!
• Ended my one year internship with Sensorex
• Visited Napa and San Francisco
• Turned 22
• Celebrated two years with Russell
• GOT ENGAGED!
• Went on a spontaneous road trip to Arizona and Nevada
• Got a job at a place I like doing stuff I like (but only after two brief attempts at other companies doing stuff that I really didn't like)
• Visited Reno and met Russell's dad's side of the family
• Visited Oroville (twice)

This upcoming year, I will...

• Do a lot of wedding cramming/planning
• Make a few more trips to Oroville
• GET MARRIED!
• Travel more
• Pray more
• Do devotions more consistently